Sunday, April 13th, 2008
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3:22 pm
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Dear Jessica,
Stop fuckin' calling Bradley...
Especially when you're drunk.
Its over.
Over over over.
When you call at 2 in the morning and a girl answers the phone,
you cant say or do anything about it.
Dont put me through this anymore.
Please.
- Your Heart
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 9th, 2008
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4:49 pm
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TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:
1. I cant shake this feeling like we are supposed to be together. Maybe not right now...But evenutally things will work out...
2. I wish you were in my life more and didnt live so far. I broke an 8 year friendship for you...and I hope I made the right choice...BFF <3
3. I hope Im not wasting my time waiting for you. Telling me Im hot and amazing is sweet, but I need you to keep moving forward with me on this. Im scared about what might (or might not) happen between us.
4. Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry.
5. Ive had the biggest crush on you since I met you...And I hate your stupid West49 catalogue girlfriend...
6 & 7. Im lost without you right now BFF X 2
8. Talk is cheap
9.
10.
I have a feeling like things will get better.
I feel like I should feel more right now.
Whatever.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008
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11:41 pm
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Sunday, March 16th, 2008
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12:44 am
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All I have in my life right now are good friends, good times, cute boys, and a bit of spare money.
Ive never been happier then I am right now.
Life decided to cut me a wicked break.
+New tattoos
+Zaphods
+Being the new Machette Premium Cutts model
+New clothes
+BFFs Jess and Brenna
+Logan comming down this week!!
+New apartment soon =D
-Shitty girlfriends
-Buses
-Logan living in stupid smelly T dot
-Not getting enough sleep
Ive had a smile on my face for days that just wont go away.
<333
Oh, P.S.
http://www.smellmeand.com
Most fucked up shit ever...
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
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9:01 pm
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I feel like Im gonna throw up and I cant stop crying.
Everything just keeps getting worse and worse.
I actually dont have anything anymore.
Im scared to death and I dont know what to do.
How is this so easy for him?
Ugh ugh ugh
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, February 24th, 2008
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8:46 pm
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It's impressive,
How you've managed to destroy my world again.
...But this time baby, i know how it ends...
I'll play the lover, you play the liar,
And we'll lie like lovers do
How much longer must i remain conviced
That i'd die without you?
Rest assured last time i checked i had it all under control.
I may be drunk and my judgment may be fucked,
But i've been blessed with good luck.
Things are looking up.
I feel good.
Super good actually.
Fuck the bullshit.
<333
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Sunday, February 17th, 2008
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11:54 am
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Bradley broke up with me again.
He said he wants to be friends,
and I told him I never want to see him again.
I feel like the dumbest person alive right now.
Im trying so hard not to care...
I think the worst part is that I know he doesnt care at all.
Actually, maybe that makes it easier...
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, November 17th, 2007
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9:28 am
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So, my new job is going well.
All the people I work with are super preppy stuck up "high fashion" bitches...Who are nice to me...So its okay.
Me and the Bradley are doing just swell.
We're still looking around for places.
We're either moving to a place around the corner from The Ink Spot with Tristan,
OR we're getting a big place with JessEric and Tristan. =)
Sweet baby circus jams either way.
All my stuff is still in Toronto.
That sucks.
I still have two cable bills and a hydro bill to pay there as well =\
Tonight is the last ever Addict party.
Niko and MT are parting ways, and the Addict will be no more =(
This equals a slpppy, SLOPPY night ahead of us...
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, October 28th, 2007
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7:50 pm
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HEY!
Ever have to quit your job,
tell your roommate you're moving out,
tell your parents your not only dating again but moving out with the guy that once broke your heart and they hate,
AND lose your wallet with every fuking thing you own,
all in one day???
Today hurts a lot.
I really fucking hope Im making the right choices here...
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, October 26th, 2007
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5:58 pm
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Wednesday, October 24th, 2007
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10:38 am
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Monday, October 15th, 2007
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1:31 pm
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He bought a one way ticket to Toronto.
He dropped the L bomb on me last night, and I got scared, so I just kissed him back.
Im pretty happy.
Still dont like this city any better though...
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, October 6th, 2007
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12:27 pm
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"Sometimes I call you my boyfriend to my friends...Is that okay?"
"................love you............................"
How much of yourself can you give to a person without getting anything back, before you're a sucker?
I dont wanna be thankful for what I have with him anymore...
He builds me up so fucking high...And then reminds me we have nothing together anymore.
How can you do something like that to a person you care(d) so much about?
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, October 4th, 2007
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6:08 pm
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Im picking up Bradley from the airport around 7:30 on Sunday.
I never thought we'd end up like this...
Will someone please tell me what the fucks going on?
If anyones ever comming to Toronto, call meee!! (416) 985-9804
You can stay at my pad! We'll go party! =D
Whooo!
I wanna eat Kraft Dinner and watch Grandmas Boy in my undies.
Mmm, Nick Swardson...
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, September 7th, 2007
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10:27 pm
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Ive been in Toronto for exactly 9 days now.
I got a job today at Starbucks. The one on Collage and Young (smack dab downtown).
I love my room mate. I love my apartment.
I love being close to my best friend again.
Im still not sure how much I love the city though...
Its hot.
Really hot.
Im broke.
I miss Bradley.
I need to start making smarter choices.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, August 13th, 2007
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1:50 pm
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It feels like everyones hurting a lot right now.
I'm still hurting a lot right now.
But its getting easier every morning to get out of bed.
I have about two weeks left in this city,
then Im leaving all the bad shit behind.
Sometimes Im sorry,
for the good times and the bad.
But sometimes Im sick of being sorry for things that arent my fault.
Its just hard to believe that it wasnt always my fault.
...
Its been a rough summer.
Ive lost some people that I really love.
(That one hurts the most)
Ive fallen to the very bottom,
And had help climbing back up.
I've lost all hope in myself.
And Im still not sure if that will come back...
I was kicked out of a home we built together.
Left behind by people that were supposed to care.
Then was lucky enough to have parents who will always see me through.
I fucked up a lot of people thinking it would make me feel better.
But it didnt.
And it still doesnt.
And I wish I could feel bad for doing it...
I fucked myself up,
mostly to be on the same level as him,
but I just couldnt keep up.
I've felt uglier,
and more beautiful,
then I have my entire life.
I feel like I've been starring behind me for the past 5 months,
And Im finally turning around to look ahead.
September will bring good things.
Im counting on myself to make it happen.
...
I'm not letting go.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 8th, 2007
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2:19 pm
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Good things happen over time.
Great things happen all at once.
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, July 14th, 2007
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8:37 am
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Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007
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5:31 pm
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Everybody should make plans with me, because I like hangouts.
And Im awesome. Clearly. Haha.
Stoked for hangs with Siniorita Katie and El Richard-O tonight! =D
Also, stoked for lunch dates with Siniorita Katie tomorrow,
Possible beach hangouts,
And dates with boys who have girlfriends...=S
It feels great to finally stop, and breathe.
He doesnt love me, but there are others who do.
And I havent stopped enough times to thank you all so, so much for being here for me.
<333
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, June 17th, 2007
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12:26 pm
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pink_vulgarity's journal
